I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
