She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
