Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
