Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
