Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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