Sponge bath it is.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
