I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize