i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
