STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
