so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
