let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
