I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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