it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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