My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
All the doctor said was why
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
