so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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