She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
