I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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