Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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