I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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