How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
