There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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