yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
