just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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