i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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