someone get that fucking seahorse.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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