Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
