I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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