...so i touched it.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
