Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
