I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
