I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
