I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
this is an emotional support booty call
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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