Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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