Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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