Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
