please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize