fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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