I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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