pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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