Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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