Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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