what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
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