I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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