addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
