She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize