Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
