I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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