My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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