A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
my being single is dangerous.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
