Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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