I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
