I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
