Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I need moral support for this bender
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
