I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Is it because I queefed?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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