when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize