Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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