I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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