he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
do nipples grow back?
Randomize