No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
