take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Life is so much better after having sex.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
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