You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
