Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Randomize
