Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
