are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
