He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
