Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just gargled with NyQuil
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
