my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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