Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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