It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
