Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Houston, we have a blender
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
