There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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