So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
